“HELP, I Am A 36-Year-Old Married Woman And I Have Never Had An Orgasm”

I am 36 years old and have been married to Che (Real name withheld) for 10 years now. We are blessed with 2 kids and have a really healthy sex life. Everything is completely normal and we both fancy each other loads. The only problem? My husband has never given me an orgasm. It is not like he is not doing it often enough; we usually have sex at least one time a week and tried loads of different positions, but I have never experienced those’fireworks’ other women talk about.

It is not just with Che, I have never had an orgasm at all. I had two serious boyfriends before meeting my husband and it was the same with them too. I enjoyed sex and felt excited and turned on when we were intimate, but it felt the same from start to finish and there has never been any of those ‘oh, my god, this is it!’ moments. At all. Ever.

I didn’t want to face up to the reality that something could be wrong with me or that I was different. Che is very considerate in the bedroom and, as a result, I usually just end up pretending to have an orgasm so we could finish without him realizing. Of course, once I’d started pretending, I had to continue.

Gradually, the stress and guilt of faking it got worse and I began to dread having sex as it became a chore, and instead of bringing us closer together the burden of my secret felt like it was driving us apart. After years of pretending, I knew I had to own up. I told Che and he immediately went quiet and his silence lasted for days.

When we finally did have sex again, he made a massive effort to help me enjoy it by using new techniques and plenty of foreplay. But if anything, it made it worse. I felt under enormous pressure to ‘perform’ and he quickly got frustrated, thinking it was something he was doing wrong. Each time we did it, I panicked, I didn’t want to lie and tell him I’d climaxed, but equally, I didn’t want to disappoint him either.

I think my marriage might not last much longer if I don’t seek help. Please ladies I need advice on what to do.